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Friday, March 30, 2012

Somebody is reading

   The stats for the blog say that someone is reading the stuff I write. Latvia is checking in, so is Russia, Canada, Sweden, and Germany. Someone from Malaysia was here too. UK, France and Columbia are counted too.

  Hello to all of you, and to everyone else I have not mentioned. I am now addressing you, for a change. All the other stuff has been written for me, as the way to empty my head of the things that have been on my mind.

  I wonder about all of your lives and how it differs from my. I wonder about your happiness or satisfaction with your lives. Instead about thinking about what you are doing, I do wonder about that, but more from the point of time and how you spend your time, your 'free' time, the for yourself moments and what good is in your life. I hope there is pleasure in your life, the little joys of the days, like sunshine, flowers, a smile.

  When I see the stats for the blog, I wish for all of you a good day, a happy time.

  So when I see the countries log in i visit with you for a moment. I try to imagine what your street looks like or the building in which you live. i hope it is a sturdy well built building on a clean street. I don't imagine the interiors or the weather, except for Russia, I always think it is cold there.

  I seem to care about the quality of your lives, you annomyous persons that peer into my soul. i get curious as to how you got to the site, how did you stumble here, is it the old random walk theory or were you driven by particulars.

  I do not read other blogs, read one or two, but have no more time to visit other sites. The blog is just my minute of rest, the standstill to regroup before moving on with my life, the minute to look at who I am, to make sure I still like myself, and that I have not strayed from where I remember is the place of peace for me. it is the way I take care of myself, the self analysis to maintain my mental health.

   I am not sure my mental is healthy, by others standards, but it is the look myself in the eye time  to see if i can still live with myself. Self respect is important to me, it is what i think my life is all about. If i like the me that I have to live with ---and what do I have to do to keep myself liking me. How I earned my living was important to me. Not what my job was but the ethic in executing the job.

  Even the worst jobs, the awful demeaning jobs working for persons who did not deserve my respect, that I did not lower my standards, I did not cheat myself. Is it the same for you. In this new millennium cheating and stealing seems to be the norm, or is that not the case, is it simply a few taking much or is everyone stealing as much as they can.
  The youth of today have a difficult road ahead of them, and i guess they will take care of themselves, that they have evolved into the new persons that are needed in this global neighborhood. In the old days there were what we called the 'jet setters', the people who hopscotched from nation to nation and continent
to continent. They were the aberration. Today they seem to be the norm, with the world right around the corner. Have you all been flying around visiting mcdonalds in japan and turkey.

   Then I think about all the people in china and the life differences in a dense population, as close as I get is as a baby boomer, close but not the same.

   Do you all think for yourselves, or do you follow, is another thought I have. Even the economically poor can think, i think, only depending how hungry you are, then need overpowers any rational thought, and survival kicks in. My life has not been easy, nor has it been as awful as the  worst of us. Yet, there is a bitter residue, and i want not to be responsible for making life more difficult for someone else. i want not to get in your way of having a better life, i want not to step on your toes.

  And that leads me to think about people, no, not people, persons, individuals who wish harm on others and I feel so bad for them, I feel that they are in so much pain that they have no way of soothing themselves, and i think that their lives must be so awful that they can not feel good unless they make others feel worse than what they are feeling. The trickle down of horrors.

  And i think maybe i am being smug about my attitude. Trying to look at it from their shoes. Do we feel happiness, true happiness, differently, or are we all living life at different levels of happiness. The pyramid of the haves trickling down to the have nots.
  But there are the monks who are poor and are happy.Another of life's mysteries, of which i have as yet not come up with an answer.

  So, yes, i think of all of you, and how your day must be going and wish for you a day that makes you feel good about yourself.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


A new laptop
It's cool to be able to sit anywhere and work
A new laptop
means a new keyboard to adjust to
the keys a little larger
functions deleted, can't hit a mute key
functions added, haven't looked them up yet
no book for a clue
have to search the help.
  How can I work and search for info at the same time, two screens are not happening. And then the type fades in and out, larger and smaller as my hand moves to type.
A new version of Microsoft too, whoopie doo.
Page out to save
page in to new
page out to find another page
no more drop down screen
no more side panel for access.
All new.
Easy to add columns.
Tough to read to find the function though.
  Haven't yet found out why the type keeps changing.
More to learn.
It is good to learn.
It helps the mind stay young? It helps the mind stay.
Staying must be the same thing as young.
The keyboard has the direction arrows near the shift key,
I keep shifting to another line, like learning how to drive.
Does the laptop come with a Mavis Beacon lesson included?
Somehow I made the screen smaller and got it to levitate to the top of the viewer, getting seasick.
Need a map.
  It's the touch pad! You must type with your hands suspended in mid air or disengage the touch pad. Fascinating. P ,, nlblem solved, not really, still have flying type.
Practice, practice, practice.

  Watch out for the ac adapter, it gets warm, hope the carpet is fireproof.
The cat will love it in winter. if we ever have a winter.
Still sitting where i want, swell, as they said in the 1940's, or cool, in the 1960's or neat!
   Flying type. Coping with flying type and with getting the job done is extra time consuming, the trials of new. Always takes more, to do the same thing. The something new. The thing you got to make things easier and faster, are harder and slower just when you need it faster. Luxury is being able to learn at your own pace and at your own convenience, but we gotta eat. So the tension mounts, deadlines, and new. We never buy a new computer when we want to play, it is always because it is needed for a task, the old one dies, or does not do the what the new job calls for or there is not enough memory or there must be a new language, always new, to do the same old thing, communicate.
   I know, I keep harping about the same old thing, but, I truly believe there should be a holiday for Johann Gutenberg. A tribute. A song. Oh, where are the Beatles, they should have sung his praises.

    Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Johann, we wouldn't be here today without you. Strong fingers, short nails, symbols  to strike, paper is taking a hike, we're saving the trees,  even books to read, all because of you, thank you, Johann Gutenberg, my hero.

    They have added keys, they have new symbols, the printing press is still the best. Without the first books we all could read, where would Bill Gates be.
    Time to stop playing, time to learn the new machine, time is money, and time to earn some money, so time to learn, time to stop playing, time to get it together, before it gets away.

PS That's what I get for trying to put a word document on a spreadsheet!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Dear Diary, 3.23.12

Change for the better is very easy to accept.
Change for the worse is hard to swallow.

Who we are is always charming for the days that go by,
time is never at a loss to tick,
bye, bye
to our selves all we can say is bye bye.

We ascend to achieve, each day growing in wisdom and skill,
until, the clock ticks bye
and we begin to lose the glimmer in the eye.

We forget, we stammer, we stumble
time time slowing all our time.
can do, can not do
lose the rhythm
forget to tell
forget to ask

And as the days grow shorter
skills wane
everything a long refrain.

Less we do
along we wait
for someone to assist
for the loss is great.

We did it yesterday,
whatever it was,
we don't remember,
we wonder what it was.

We say it again,
 we said we never said it,
we don't remember saying it.

We did it,
we don't remember doing it,
we can't say it,
we don't remember what it is called.
We know it is not because we are getting old.
The brain in long refrain,
it will never be the same again.
It is gone, it is going,
drifting away

what can we say,
we were here
we did what we could
what difference does it make
we don't remember doing it.

Goals achieved
mountains climbed
we did it, it's done
we'll never do it again
and we won't remember
we wanted to do it again.

The mind is going
the body too,
to where?
We wonder,
then we forget.
And it does not matter,
for there is nothing left,
we have left, we are gone,
we are here, and then there,
bye bye
in the wink of an eye.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Chicken Barns


Chicken is a term used to denote someone who is afraid to venture...into the unknown, a coward. Children love to use the term to frighten peers into doing something or, to chide. Sissy is also used with the term. A sissy is a feminine insult to boys who are 'chicken' to venture where all the other boys will go, into the unknown, danger.

Chickens are little birds that seldom fly except to flee, they more seem to jump away from danger than fly, their flight is straight up as in helicopter then a parallel left or right pass then to  ground. They are quickto flight as they cluck to warn the others.

Their feathers are used or were used to stuff mattresses along with money that was being safeguarded. At the local chicken markets they had a machine that would shave the feathers off the carcass, it resembled a grinder's wheel.

There was a young boy in New York who lived near a chicken market. He and his friends would always annoy. To get rid of the kids, the owner of the chicken market told the young boy that if he planted the chicken's legs feet up in the garden chicken would grow. The young boy went home with the chicken legs and planted them feet up in the garden, to the dismay of his father, head of the agriculture department for the city.

Chickens are either caged or free range. Free range chicken wander the farm pecking at the soil seeking insects or the grain, usually corn, scattered by the farmer. Free range chickens are stress free birds except for the predators, cats, dogs, fox. Free range chickens often lay their eggs anywhere in the grass, or in a nest as provided.

Caged chicken are like any animal, stressed to tension, tight muscles, and agitated.

Chicken barns are usually large metal structures housing hundreds of chickens confined to every available space. Their waste is usually housed until trucks arrive to remove the debris to elsewhere to be burned or used for fertilizer. The odor is not contained, it floats into the air, hovering at ground level. These barns are built by local residents contracted to the major suppliers. Once there is a profit, then another barn is errected, an another, soldier style one right after another. Four barns standing together look neat and orderly. When driving by the nasal assault causes the eyes and nose to close, if the flaps on the ears worked they would close too. As the automobile wooshes by it picks up the odor and wooshes it along for a scent that lingers, nearly another mile.

Friday, March 16, 2012

In Life

In Life one needs a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning. Employment, of the nature that provides income, or of the nature that supports income are usual for adults. One person a breadwinner, another supports the breadwinner. When there is a team the roles oft are shared with purpose morphing according to needs, that is , if there are children to raise the responsibilities are varied and divided according to abilities and opportunities-who has the potential to increase the financial assets and who has the ability to tend the brood.

As the brood ages and leaves the nest the purpose shifts to responsibility to and for partner for income. Once the financial assets have been secure, or as secure as possible within the global climate then the need to acquire new purpose is catamount to enhancing the quality in life.

Upon retirement from employment to acquire financial income there must be adjustments to adapt a lifestyle to shift focus to new purpose. There is the oppportunity to pursue passions as in golf, tennis, or other competitive sports as racing, pool, bowling. This venue allows for personal growth to be measures with competition among peers. Allowing for satisfaction in personal achievement as well as the relishing of beating a foe, or absorbing the loss, with dignity. For some, the opportunity to compete is satisfaction enough, being able to gather the energy and courage to 'show one's stuff.'

There are also those who choose to continue to acquire assets in the same line of business as that which they retired from, or to embark on another field, money being the goal for satisfaction.

Then there are those for whom it will take some time to fully grasp what in fact will be the hidden purpose for which satisfaction, excitement drive and passion will spark. They will languish in a limbo like state sifting through life sorting through minutia acquiring bits and pieces of knowledge and experience which will support the future purpose, of which they are yet to be surprised. Here, without self worth the individual will sink into a despair. Respect and trust in self, the knowledge of, the lack of opportunity, not the lack of preparation. When one continues to strive for excellence the satisfaction is self achievement and the self respect that will provide the staff of life to endure until the opportunity for purpose arises.

Sunday, March 11, 2012


Does it exist
'I have nothing'
is the nothing something, or
is the having a figment of the imagination.

what did you do today,
'I did nothing'
just being is something so,
doing nothing is something, therefore
nothing is something
or is doing a figment of the imagination..

what do you want,
if wanting nothing does that signify fullness;
or is wanting just a figment of the imagination.

doing nothing
having nothing
wanting nothing
can one exist with nothing, wanting nothing doing nothing having nothing.

No thing, is that like the black hole, consuming all thing.
disappearing everything, leaving no thing.

wanting no thing is simpler
than having no thing.
food, clothing, shelter,
someone to share with.
no food, we become no thing, not true,
we become fodder for something, therefore continuing us as something.
no clothing, the elements erode the thing that we are and therefore we become the element that is the eroder, still not nothing.
no shelter, we live amid the elements, both being nutured and erroded by the elements, thus and therefore we are again nothing.

Empty denotes nothing
empty of .....
is simply the absence of...something
yet something is nothing
and nothing is something

nothing happens when nothing is without something
yet something is always there
it is just not important enough to be called something

what do you hear,
what does nothing sound like
something different than what we usually hear
can you hear nothing
if you hear nothing is it not something

what do you see
this, then is subjective
with eyes open there is always something to see.

what are you looking at,
can the mind disappear everything
or does the mind refuse to see what the eyes behold.
what are you looking at,
in the darkness is there nothing
or is it simply
what the eyes cannot see, that is called nothing
or can the eyes see what is there
and the mind, not.
When the eye is accustomed to darkness what does it see,
the absence of darkness
yet it is dark,
or is it a figment of the imagination.

what do you see,
is it what is in front of you,
or is it what you want to see,
or is it nothing.
Nothing of vaLUE to you, yet something,
and yet nothing.

What do you earn,
Enough to eat, shelter, clothing.
yet nothing you want,
only what you need
therefore nothing of enough value to be something.
No more than survival,
nothing to enhance life,
nothing to enjoy life,
nothing to really be alive.

Then, therefore, you are dead.
And if you are dead, you are something to something,
not nothing.
And, thus, enhance, life, for something, not nothing,
for without the wind the water, the soil, the sun, even on what is called barren planets, there is something.
So, nothing is something
and something is nothing.
and there is nothing to change the something that nothing is all about.
and, therefore is nothing to worry about, something on the other hand, always occupies, any place in time or space.

We live in time and space, and nothing is nowhere something is therefore nowhere is where something is, in space and time.

If, on the other hand, there is no space and time, is there room for nothing. No, because there is no space and time and nothing fits in, or, without space and time there is nothing. But we already know that something is nothing or more precisely nothing is something, it is obvious that then there is no such thing as the absence of space and time.

Or , there is only space, time is only a figment of the imagination, or the clock that we all live by, if  there was no time would we live forever or cease to exist. Without time are we nothing. Must we have time to be something, something we currently recognize as 'alive' moving to another time, as currently 'alive'.

Are we alive as dirt, does dirt feel, not necessarily as we denote feelings of pain or satisfaction. Dirt, what does dirt feel when stepped upon, or wetted with lime for cement. If we are feeling , would we thus continue to feel when we become 'dirt'. Or, do we feel nothing, do we leave the feeling to the 'thinking mind' that thinks nothing does not exist, while in fact we have above proven it does.

Nothing, to worry about, we will in fact, all find out the answer, except if being 'dirt' is the same as not knowing.

A leaf falls to the ground, an ancestor of something or an ancestor of nothing, does it know, unable to change any part of the world for better or for worse, that it is not able to, or does it, just by one person who is in awe at it's beauty. Has that small a change in the world made it something, or must we see it as nothing because the mind of the  eye refuses to see.

Come tomorrow we shall see, something or nothing.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Dear Diary, 3.8.12

       There are things I should have been commenting about, but haven't. Seems sorta moot to comment about Rush Limbaugh's faux pas but, he never walks in anyone else's shoes, so myopia is his moniker. It is a shame though, he has the ear of so many people and he simply spreads venom, musta had a tough childhood, never knew kindness, never heard of kindness. If we ignore him, we being all of us, it would do no good, he needs someone to hear him, so perhaps he will listen - .
       This whole thing about the birth control pills in not really about women's health, it is really about control. Men want to control women's bodies. Like the cave man hitting the cave woman over the head with a club, subjugating women like  some eastern countries clouded in masks. It is the male trying to dominate the female making them possessions.
        Some religions, founded my males, tell females they must reproduce, to rebuild the congregation, ensuring power. Some religions have it set up that the male make take many wives, and produce many children, even forty offspring by one male, thus guaranteeing the power of the male with the males own tribe.
            Thus, power disguised as moral right controls the society of local communities. Now, since the industrial revolution, robots and computers, the female, thanks to Johannes Gutenberg and the printing press, has left the cave of ignorance and discovered the brave new world of independence and self worth based on more than reproduction, the opportunity to think. That is what the battle is all about, denying the female the right to think and choose.
         If you believe god spoke to the male and told him what to write down for posterity then all females who do not reproduce and repeatedly reproduce, are doomed, as well as the male who also does not reproduce, repeatedly, to live forever in poverty struggling to survive and provide for the multitude of offspring.
        It is all about control, power, and having someone to control. All those people who feel powerless must have something (someone) to control, to maintain their illusion of control. They refuse to accept that there are so many variables in life that there is no control over anything, like the tornado that wipes out towns or the tsunami the washes away cities. You can only do your best and and live with what life gives you, or what life lets you keep.
        Why does one males opinion have to be the right opinion. Why does male have to tell female what is good for female. If female told male he had to do something to his body even if he did not want to, what would happen. If female told male he must have a vasectomy would he comply.
         Mind your own business, stop telling people what to do. Let people make their own mistakes. Freedom is more valuable than control. Without freedom people can not discover who they really are, and what their potential is. Not knowing who I am and what I believe in or want to be makes me a slave to society, it sucks the life out of me, and makes my life not worth living.
        Think about that for a while.
And let me live my life, and you live yours. Time is all I have, and you have no right to tell(order) me how to live it.