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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Dear Diary 12.25.11

Dear Diary,

       Since our last communication much has evolved. America has begun or is reinforcing it's religious persuasion. There seems to be an increased need to profess it's christian ethic. Television, radio, news commentary, everything and everyone is praising the rules of every sect of christianity. There is also a dis appreciation for any other  god fearing upbringing. Christmas music is everywhere, you can not turn on the radio or television without being bombarded with the indocrination chants. For some reason christians have a need to sell their beliefs to all. They want everyone to think the way they do, like stepford wives.

      It is really bothering me, here in America, there is no longer a separation of church and state, not that there really ever was, nor church from store, or radio or television. It is like George Orwell professed in the book 1984, big brother is everywhere. America is melting into a giant church and every other religion is fading into oblivion. The christians are taking over, showing force and professing that America is founded upon their faith and that their faith is what is the driving force.

     Like the witch hunts, and the crusades, there is a fever of furvor, fanaticism and frenzy reminiscent of the old movies showing the natives on the island dancing to the voodoo chants. These people are blinded by their beliefs and have no consideration for opposing or not even opposing points of view. They, like the extreme muslims seem positioned to leave no survivors. They both believe that they are so right they have the right to destroy anything that gets in their path. Thinking people beware. You are being killed by beliefs founded on more beliefs with no substance other than history to back them up. They are right because so and so said so, as per so and so.

     No one, no woman is willing to admit out loud , that the stories they are worshipping are written by me and are therefore subject to their primal rage to be the alpha male. It is in fact, a very bad situation. Before reason was the hope, there is no more reason. Blind fury is sweeping up the male population and sucking up the women too. The sides are being drawn. You are either, muslim or christian and everything in between will be wiped out with the enemy of either the christian or muslim. Who ever invented religion was brilliant. Control the masses with fear and you control the world.

    The age of enlightenment, the age of reason , the age of intellect is being wicked away with the flickering light of thought that is snuffed into the darkness. The feeding frenzy of fear is enveloping the world smothering any progress toward enlightenment, back to the dark ages. Thank you binney ladden et al for the new world of gray, the palor of sickness, the wreak of wrotting waste, the excrement of the bowels of fear, the wanton ignorance sweeping away every leaf of knowledge into the abyss of the galaxies of the unknown, the black holes that do not succor, the black holes that errode every matter of fact. Religious regrection of reality rights reason and reasonableness resulting rigid rigor rancid repulsion. All the years of progress falling into the blackness sinking into nothingness falling into the past to the gray cloud and the dark alley where no light enters. The muslim winter of the rest of our lives, the muslim christian winter of deafness dumbness and blindness.

    Sincerely sorry for all the bad news.
yours truly.
miceLLe

Sunday, December 18, 2011

IRAQ

          Where have all the soldiers gone...
What will happen next
Why did they leave
What will IRAQ do next
When will we see
Who will lead
Whose house is it any way
What does it all mean
When have all the soldiers gone...
Why have all the soldiers
 
We will see
 
IRAQ
IRAQ
IRAQ
will the country be able to cover its back
will the country be under attack
will the country be on the way back
 
shall the country grow
shall the country prosper
shall the people...
        live normal lives
        be free
        be safe
        begin.
 
Without America there
 will IRAQ
        be more than the Persia it once was
         aspire to democracy
          lead the mideast
           stand central and bridge the gap
            or fall on its back
              and discover much it lack
               or rise and grow
                to be best in show
                   to lead
                        to grow
                         to nuture
                           to educate
                                to liberate
                                    to free
                                      to see
                                         all and everything it could be.
Happy Birthday IRAQ
 
All alone, on its own, standing, walking, breathing and talking
   Bigger than life
          free from strife
               give them a chance
                  give them a life
                      let them sort it out
                         let them not fight it out
                            let them  be
                             more than animals we humans be
                                   fear, greed, ignorance, want
                                     leave their doorstep
                                        leave their table
                                             leave their country
                                                 leave them free
Happy Birthday IRAQ
wishing you the very best
and happiness.     

IOWA Republican Debate

          Yes, the candidates got together again to debate the ill and assets of the opposition and each other.
Was there little or anything new to be heard, perhaps, but it was not said. All the candidates espoused what they would accomplish if elected, and none gave an effective argument of their success.
           It remains to be seen, as they say.
           The first and foremost decision each American voter will use to select their choice for leader, is security. Ron Paul, Dr, Mr, and Congressman believes we are not in danger. Anyone who does not agree with him will move to one side of the room.
           The second decision for selection is abortion. The strongest pro life candidate is Mr Senator Santorum, even though Ms Congresswoman Bachman has plenty of her own and others. The other candidaes you must choose for yourself whether or not you believe their flip flop side straddle (I am not clear about  Governor Huntsman and his position except he has plenty of kids too.)
            Yes, Jobs count too! but the other two issues are what people are passionate about, pro and con.
Lots of men like to tell women what they can and can not do with their bodies and want it to stay that way, and will use any excuse to justify their control. Religion is a good one.
American dominance always is the covert motivator for aggression, the defense industry lobby is another good one.
Brain washing a populace when the people are afraid is emblematic of generations, nations, religions and elementary school teachers. A thinking people are a free people. Free time gives one the opportunity to ponder the validity of beliefs, and whether or not to adapt those thoughts either to the changing times or the changing limit of information.
             Therefore, it becomes obvious, that the voting population will choose the candidate that best voices the thoughts and choices of the individual. In other words, parrots what the voter is thinking, reading their mind, selling the story that the voter wants to buy. Even though, the voter knows in his or her heart, that the plan put forth by the candidate will in fact probably not be executed.
             If Mr Paul or Mr Perry get the majority vote they will reevaluate internation spending, but why do they say they will cut spending when they have not addressed the facts now. Like the old time stories, the black and white politicans of the silver screen of the nineteen thirties and forties, "I will clean up the town, and root out all the illegal (booze, prostitution, drugs etc). If foreign subsidies are withdrawn we will really see who our friends are, and in whose interest is that. How many corporations will be destroyed by that move, how many international companies, shareholders, workers, and families will be impacted - world wide chaos! worse than depression - anarchy- absurdity - That will never happen, no matter who is elected. So if you 'want to believe' that will be done, rub the lamp and cross your fingers it will not affect your job.
            Now SEX is another strong issue, reproduction is man's right, even if he can't afford to feed his issue. Notice I say, he, as opposed to they or she, because men believe that is their god given right, and their religion backs them up. Seventy virgins for a dead Muslim is a lot of -------! And their book of law makes it right. Christians too, or Catholics, because I am not particularily versed in the other 'branches' of christianity, are warned eternal damnation if they in any way reduce the potential of the Catholic population - is this a way to garner a majority, perhaps.
            So, the lines are drawn, choose one, kill the enemy before he kills you, or, ---- the women.
Those who neither feel strongly or weakly about either issue will go with the candidate that is selling the sales pitch of, "I can bring you the high paying job, or the blue collar job" depending upon where you believe you should be in the hierarchy of ecomomic population. Regardless of where the market is, or the demand. Computers win! Anything to do with the mechanical brain and how grandly it shall grow, is the way to go. But, then you will be replaced by the brain you built. Catch 22 or sudden death.
            If you believe the sales pitch, buy the candidate with your vote and hope that your wishes will be in the mainstream come election day.
            George H W Bush was elected when the nation was equally divided. If there are more security scared Americans who will, in your humble estimation, protect us. Will Mr Obama do the right thing for our safety, has he shown dilligence for our wellbeing, or has one of the runners for his seat shown more strength.
            And are you willing to risk the security of a nation to save an embryo or two or three.
Eeney meanie miney mo.
            There is no one individual who can protect our best interests, we can only place our bets on the one we believe who will surround the white house with and listen to great minds, and that is no guarantee that the right thing will be done or that we will be safe. Take responsibility for yourself and for your choice, be the educated consumer buying the government you believe, trust, wish and hope will be the right one to lead the people and then cross your fingers.  

Monday, December 12, 2011

Deep Breaths, this is a test

   Take a deeep breath
exhale slowly through the mouth
Be sure that the abdomen is expanding
 
Take another deep breath
again exhale slowly through the mouth
 
Now
Take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds
and then exhale through the mouth
 
This exercise repeated
is supposed to help
it relieving fatigue, pain and depression.
 
If you do this regularily
and get relief
please let me know.
thank You.
 
 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

PETERSON KAHN FIGHT

    Did you happen to see the fight on December  11, 2011. If you did you know that the boxing world is up to it's old stuff.
 
    Peterson had lousy footwork and maybe should practice it. He also kept his head in Kahns face while pushing him into the ropes, AND gave Kahn a low blow.  Referee Cooper did not see any of it, and when Kahn was pushing Petersons head out of his face, the Ref took a point off, twice.
 
    Kahns form is more like a boxer, and they both fought using all their energy. A good performance by both men BUT Kahn lost the fight that was his. Fixed? Maybe? Fair?NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Look at the rerun. There is no way Peterson should have been declared the winner of the fight, and there is no way that Cooper should be a referee.
 
    Boxing is a very ugly job, putting your body in harm's way on purpose, defending yourself against an opponent who sometimes is not honorable, who sometimes is not ethical, who sometimes is much bigger, to test your skill of defense, eye hand foot coordination. The ultimate test of a true champion, hand to hand combat. Twelve three minute confrontations, sweat, blood, pain, scars, damage. Men and sometimes women challenging themselves to ignore fear and give everything they have, risk permanent damage to their mind or body to battle for a title, the best. And these young people give everything, all their resources to prove themselves, and all for naught.
 
    And yet there are no investigations, not outcry for injustice. Fixed, and if think it was not fixed, either by a prejudiced referee, or a bought referee, or bought judges, you believe in the tooth fairy.
 
    A good fight gone bad, by not being fair. And these young people comprimised, black and white, in front of our eyes, only now you can see the fight in color making the loss all the more dramatic. Will not someone come to their aid, will not the shining knight in armour ride to their rescue.

THE REPUBLICAN DEBATE ON ABC

The better way to watch that debate was to tape it and watch fifteen or twenty minutes after it started. The commercials made the debate seem moot, more commercials than questions.
 
The best line was from Ron Paul, when asked what if anything he had learned from some of the other candidates , he said persistence - never give up on the opposition - if you state your case they will come your way, (regarding Mr Perry)
 
The debates are becoming tiresome, they keep saying the same thing the same way, repeating themselves like parrots. Mr Romney still looks sterile, not a wrinkle or a ruffle out of place, someone said he was like Ken (of Barbie & Ken)
 
Mr Gingrich at 68, today looked a bit tired, perhaps he was bored with the same questions.
 
Mr Perry today was clearer, his brain was connected to his mouth and he held his own.
 
Mr Huntsman was not there.
 
Mr Santorum was more engaged and had equal time to speak, even though again, Romney and Gingrich got more time than the others.
 
Ms Bachman said she was 55 and has been working for fifty years?
 
Foreign policy, the middle class, healthcare, taxes, child labor, immigration, values and truth were all covered.
 
It is interesting that none of them had a new routine, all performers change their act to enable them to engage their audience, these people don't know that, or don't care.
 
It appears to me today, that none of them will beat Mr Obama. None of them have presented anything (except Mr Paul, and his foreign policy views are so radical to isolationism that they seem a bit foolish for the twenty first century) that could woo a Democrat. or an independent.
 
There is no real plan, nothing concrete from any of them. I know they say alot, well, maybe Mr Perry with his novel idea cutting congress' salary in half and have them  work six months at home doing something else.
 
Only the unemployed will turn the tide of this election, whom they choose will be the deciding factor, if they vote.
 
Mr Gingrich was challenged with his three marriages by the question of whether or not fidelity in marriage should be a deciding factor in choosing a leader. He said, truth counts(not his words)
 
It was a more engaging debate, and less interesting coming down to choosing the least of the evils.
Good luck to us.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

SELF

HELLO SELF
ALL ALONE
NO ONE ELSE THERE
NOR HERE
 
ALL ALONE SELF
KEEPING SELF COMPANY
THE DAYS GO BYE
DRIFTING WITH THE SKY
 
TIME AGAIN PASSES
THE SELF
A LITTLE MORE SHOWING TODAY
EVERY DAY A LITTLE MORE SHOWING
 
WAS ALWAYS THERE
LIVING SOMETIME IN FEAR
WILL THEY LIKE ME
WILL I MAKE THE GRADE
AM I WORTHY
WHERE IS THE SAFE PLACE
WHERE FORE I SHALL STAY
HOME
HEARTH
HEAVEN
WONDERING AGAIN
 
HELLO SELF
HOW ARE YOU
HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR HOME
HAVE YOU FOUND THE PLACE
TO HANG YOUR HAT
SELF
IS THAT YOU
THE REAL YOU
THE ONE WHO YOU ARE
OR THE ONE THEY WANT YOU TO BE
 
SELF
THE ONE TRUE TO ME
THE ONE THAT GIVES ME PEACE
THE ONE
 
WITHOUT THE ILLUSIONS
WITHOUT THE DELUSIONS
SELF
AT PEACE
 
SELF
WITH ME
ALONE WITH ME
COMFORTABLE
WITH ME
 
HAPPY WITH SELF
THE YOU
THE ME
THE ONLY ONE HERE
WITH THE SELF AND ME
 
CELEBRATE TODAY
CELEBRATE ME
CELEBRATE SELF
CELEBRATE
 
THE LONG ROAD IS TRAVELLED
THE ROAD IS CLEAR
THE SELF IS NEAR
 
THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE TO GO
TO GET TO HERE
 
JUST YOU
JUST ME
JUST US
JUST SELF
AT HOME
AT PEACE
AT WE
WHO WE SEE
JUST YOU
JUST ME
JUST SELF
 
IT IS AS IT SHOULD BE
COMFORTABLE WITH ME
COMFORTABLE WITH SELF
AT HOME
AT PEACE
IN THE PLACE
WHERE EVER WE HAPPEN TO BE.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

We, Americans

America is losing
We believe now that it is ok to deny someone their rights
because they do something that harms us
 
 
We, America, have no problem giving the military the right to keep persons
in prisions without trials
 
We, America
preach freedom to the world
but do not afford the enemy the introduction to the rights of the free
 
We, America
think our nation is better than any and every other
but we errode the beauty of the nation
by living the double standard
 
We, America
are forgetting the beauty of freedom
 
We, America
are so afraid
we are not thinking
We are cheating ourselves of the honesty and integrity of the system
 
Because we are not following the letter of the law
in regards to terrorists, we are shrinking
becoming as small as the enemy
Our high ideals are no more
 
Interrogation takes the place of torture
It is so important for us to know what the enemy is doing
WE ARE BECOMING THE ENEMY
ask John McCain
the man in America most noted for surviving the cruelty of the enemy
 
When you take away the humanity
we become animals
and are governed by animals
who think nothing of being cruel
in the name of America
 
We are being governed by those
who believe killing the enemy is far more beneficial
the having the enemy brought before a trial of his peers
Peers in this sense is a person who thinks
whether or not he thinks like the enemy
whether or not he has lived with the enemy
 
We have become "THE LORD OF THE FLIES"
BECAUSE WE ARE AFRAID
 
We, America
are afraid to test our laws on the enemy
we are afraid the enemy will win
 
THE ENEMY HAS ALREADY WON
WE HAVE GIVEN UP THE RULE OF LAW OF THE LAND
WE ARE ALLOWING THE JUSTIFICATION OF FEAR
TO RULE THE LAND
RIGHTS ARE
WHAT WE ALL WANT
RIGHTS ARE
WHAT WE AMERICANS ARE SO PROUD OF
RIGHTS ARE
WHAT GIVES A FREE NATION
HARMONY
 
WITHOUT RIGHTS
WE ARE DOOMED TO THE DUNGEONS
OF THE PAST
WE ARE CLIMBING BACK INTO THE DARK AGES
THE TIME OF IGNORANCE AND WANT
WE ARE DEPRESSING FREEDOM
WE ARE REMOVING RIGHTS
ONE AT A TIME
SO IT APPEARS PAINLESS TO THE POPULATION
 
KILL THE ENEMY
MILITARY RULES
WE ARE PREPARING FOR WAR
WE ARE PREPARING FOR THE TIME OF DESTRUCTION
WE ARE PREPARING FOR A LONG AND DIFFICULT
DEPRESSION
WE ARE PREPARING FOR THE WHOLESALE SLAUGHTER
IT IS OUR TURN
 
NATION UPON NATION HAS RECOILED
SWORDS ARE DRAWN
 
THE ILLUSION OF DIPLOMACY IS
SWAYING AMERICANS INTO BELIVING
 
BEING POOR
HAVING NOTHING
WANTING NOTHING
DOING NOTHING
 
IS ALL OK
AS LONG AS WE KILL THE ENEMY
 
BAD HABITS
DISREGARD
SLOPPY
 
If we, America, choose to deny any human being
the rights we so strongly fight for
we are hypocrites
 
If we, America, choose to call someone an enemy
and deny them the full measure of our democracy
we are cheating ourselves
because
we thus, do not see, our legal system at work
we do not get to see the American Constitution at work
 
How can we, Americans
believe so strongly in our Constitution
fail to test it in the court of the world
 
Why do we not show the world our laws at work
We, America, say, we want other nations to
become democratic
Yet, we hide our democracy behind the cloak of
fear
FOOLS, we Americans, we cower in the face of the enemy
We cheat ourselves
We short change the fathers of our democracy
We fail the test of being true Americans
WE FAIL
being humans
we succeed in being animals
reacting instead of thinking,
reasoning and breathing our laws
 
WE, Americans,
are sliding down the slippery slope
into the chasm
of gray
the dingy world
of the dead
the chained, whipped, beaten, starved, scarred, and scared
we are cloaked in the life of the dead
we are sheltered in the world of deceit and distrust
we are covered cruelty
and this we say
is to keep us safe
Safe from the enemy we have become
GOD BLESS AMERICA
so We, Americans, can violate everything she stands for,
motherhood and apple pie,
here's mud in your eye
if you still have one. 
 
America is losing
 

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Fw: LET'S START OUR OWN REVOLT

 
 

    Violence
hate anger rage evil chaos revenge pathos
It has been a long time that we have been living under the forces of evil. We have been afraid of our own shadows. They have controlled our lives with fear. We have succumbed to our own demons. We have let them scare us into terror. Terror of what is not there, terror of what is there. We are afraid of bombs, germ warfare, invasion, our neighbor. We walk down the street and will not look around, Or we look around at everyone imagining they are carrying a vest that will blow us and twenty blocks in every direction to bits.
 
    If we a continue to permit fear to rule our lives then they have won. Then they have placed us in  a prison of our own bodies. We have become frozen. Immovable, afraid to venture into life, afraid to turn around, to see what is in fact behind us. We once were a thriving hive of activity. Now we are at dead stop in the water, listening to the pings of the radar. Waiting for the depth charges to explode. We are living on life support. We must at some time soon, return to the surface to replenish our air supply. Should we, dare we, surface now, in the face of the enemy, who wishes us gone. But whose ship is the enemy, which afloat should we fear, which ship should we prevent from coming near. We do not know. We are guessing where the enemy abides, maybe the enemy is here, maybe the enemy is there. Turn.
 
Look over your shoulder, shed the fear, give yourself permission to be free. You have done nothing wrong to be punished for. Forgive yourself, for all the mistakes you have made. The days and the nights are long, and time is a swift companion. You can not be right all the time, and only sometimes you are punished for being wrong. Use your best judgement, trust your feelings. Give in to the urge to live. Take back your life, carry on to where you wanted to be. Let not the fear of the unknown take hold of the only life you have. Venture forth. Give up being controlled by fear. Let your mind explore, let your mind work, let your mind make your life the place you desire. Forget about the danger. Begin to make this world the place of sunshine and flowers. Begin to change the world by one little smile, then make that smile a little bigger, smile at the first person you see, When you feel a bit stronger, when you feel good again about smiling, try a 'good morning'.The first person you see with a grumpy demeanor voice an "hello" and a smile and continue on your way. Plant just one little seed of Happiness, then another, then watch the seeds grow. Give up the long face, give up the anticipation of doom. Share the happiness, tell all your friends to share the happiness. Make this the week that begins the new age of aquarius, the age of love and sunshine and flowers. All beginning with one smile, one twinkle in the eye. Touch a strangers heart with kindness. Let them see that you are happy and that it is ok for them too to be happy. It is far better to live the life of happiness than the life of gloom and doom. What ever happens, you are in the position to choose. Do you choose fear, hate, anger, rage, evil OR do you choose to enjoy the time you have. It is your time. Your clock is ticking, maybe tomorrow you will die of a heart attack, or the day after. If you had only one day left to live, how would you choose to spend it, living a gray drawn face spreading the doom to all around you who will survive. Do you want your survivors to have a good life or do you want them to cower at every corner.
 
   IT IS TIME TO REVOLT against the fear, against the terror which has spread like a wild fire. "fear IS the mind killer", that has the brain dead in the body that still breathes. Open your arms to the world, open your heart to life, do not just be a survivor, be an alivor. Use your time wisely, use your time to let your mind grow. Shut the door in the face of fear, it is neither a friend nor a companion worth nurturing. Block the thoughts that get in your way to happiness. Let happiness be your goal and let the goal of happiness be the golden age of the present, the NOW that is the beginning of our own revolt against the fear that has entombed us in activity. Laugh at danger, Noboby gets out of it alive, we are all going to die, while we are here wouldn't we rather be happy. Rather than growing ulcers over something we cannot see. We are our own worst enemy when we let the fear control our lives, we the fools, who give up the only thing we have, time, and how we spend it. Worry gets us nothing, tell your mind the problem you want it to solve, and get on with your life, trust that your mind will work out the problem, and in the mean time, get on with your life. You are alive, reward yourself with a good life, release the tension in your body and make strides to the sunshine, the happiness, the good life. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. it is less expensive than fear.
Make it your own revolt, revolt against the fear that is controlling your life, that is the true enemy. Live and be free, live and breathe.
 
 
   

Thursday, November 24, 2011

THANKSGIVING

Remembering a time of less
looking back at the past
knowing where we are
here in the now
 
seeing the world change
watching the new transitions
hearing the needs of others
 
'the winter of our discontent'
the time trying
the age of new
the clock ticking
 
the people with less
the many with few
the few with plenty
the age of want anew
 
some of we are healthy
the others have less than we
the count in America is fourteen percent
14% of the people less able
to care for themselves
to care for others
to be cared for by others
to watch others care for them
 
When thoughts wander to possessions
and things that must be
the clothes new
the tools new
the house new
the shoes new too
the dreams of the things that make
our lives easier
the pleasures to enhance
the days and the nights
the luxuries
the frivolities
that make us feel better about ourselves
 
the things we no longer can have
the stuff that now costs too much
the stuff we are relearning to do without
the better off without
the things we tell ourselves
to train ourselves to do without
the stuff we daydream about having
the stuff we want
just because we want
not because we need
not because it we can't live without
the little treasures we covet
the things our lives must have
we are again learning to do without
to again remember we can live without
 
and again we remember there are many
doing without
 
in America and the rest of the world
some of the young people have had
not to do without
and for them this is a strange event
the silver spoons are now aluminum
the shoes with holes in the soles
with the cardboard cut to fit
to keep the toes from the pavement
the sweaters with holes
the towels with the holes
the ones we use to throw out
the sock with the hole
that now we mend
not being able to afford
to cast them aside
not being able to buy
mend
if it can be sewn
it is good as new
when on the mend
 
less to eat
nothing to eat
not what we like to eat
anything to eat
less meat
rice and beans
beans and rice
lean
we will again
become lean
 
new times
difficult times
different times
not the way we want it to be
times
no longer the lap of luxury
nothing to throw away
nothing to buy
nothing to buy anything with
 
poor
we are entering the age of poor
time to keep an eye on the neighbor
watch that person walking by
have they eaten today
did they eat yesterday
is their hunger a danger
are they too hungry to think
or are they in the pink
 
no longer the time to walk down the street
without noticing what is going on
no longer the time when safe is the norm
not in America, not anywhere
the age of uncertainty
the age of revolt
the age of anger
the age of pain
the age of aggression
the age of aloneness
the age of oneness
the age of the world
crushed by the greed
beaten by the fraud
cheated by the deception
defeated by the lies
beaten by the lies
abused
assaulted
exectued
beseiged
berated
belicose
alone
 
individuals alone
adapting
adjusting
altering
ammending
correcting
shifting
revising
reversing
mutating
changing
morphing
becoming
growing
minding
listening
hearing
seeing
alerting
having
being
knowing
expanding
stretching
reaching
touching
living
 
the new us
with more time on our hands
with less money to spend
the new us
having to amuse ourselves
to do for ourselves
to care for ourselves
to study ourselves
to see who we are
to see where we are
to know what we have
to have what we have
to do without
to do more with less
to be more with less
 
self satisfaction
freedom from pain
nirvana
 
alone and together
simply feeling better
not forgetting
making it better
giving back
not taking away
one nice thing
maybe for a stranger
lets make it better
together
one little thing
the plan
we together
can make it better
even with less
look maybe it is just a test
i'll feel better
you'll feel better
they'll feel better
he'll feel better
she'll feel better
we'll feel better
even the it will feel better
it's not asking a lot
it's not giving a lot
it's just a little bit
everyone doing or giving
just a little bit
to make it better
thank you Jude
 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

CNN Republican Security Debate

The debate in Washington DC was a very professional event. The audience was all dressed up and applauded instead of screaming and yelling their approval. Wolf Blitzer was the star, he was not in competition with anyone. He did his job, and was focused on doing his job. Thank you Wolf Blitzer. He also did not scream and yell to be heard. His demeanor is so peaceful that the audience is not distracted by him. We were not present to pay attention to him, he was not the star, yet he was the star. Even though CNN is proportedly Democratic, Mr Blitzer did not steer anything to a Democratic tone.
 
    Getting to the issues and the candidates. Mr Huntsman ended the debate with the focus on America and the distrust of government and unemployment as the issue most pressing. Mr  Gingrich offered a solution to the issue of illegal immigration, offering "legal" status to immigrants who have been here for years, are contributing to the country, having jobs, paying taxes, with children and grandchildren and ties here. He, Mr Gingrich made it clear that these individuals would not be given citizenship status but will be able to continue to live here. Immigrants without ties here would be deported. Considering the fact that there are more than eleven million illegal immigrants here and have been here for years it seems appropriate to begin to count these people as residents. As he said, some of these people did one thing wrong twenty five years ago, and we, America should not break up families for that reason. Mr Paul addressed the issue of the war on drugs, as a failure, and that prescription drugs are more damaging than pot for people with ms.
 
Misters Paul, Huntsman and Gingrich had the most substance to their comments, addressing the issues with thoughtfulness instead of cliches or speaches that did not answer the questions asked.
 
No one asked the question about if there was a Democratic congress how would a Republican President get anything done. The middle east was less of a distraction when talking about Mexico, and the drug cartels, as well as the South American countries which America has been ignoring. Iran and China are the countries which need attention. No one really said anything of substance about how to effectively suppress Iran's ability to go nuclear, except for Mr Perry wanting a no fly zone over Syria who is a ally of Iran. Russia and China will not go along with sanctions against Iran and Syria and all we heard was covert activity to thwart their progress.
 
A lot and more of the same. Still Obama bashing or bashing Mr Obama, the President, and the job that he is not doing, that he is not leading. That for all who demeaned the President was a mistake. Saying that the President was not doing his job, was the way the candidates avoided answering how they either would lead the nation or offer a solution to the problem the president was not solving. In other words they bashed the president for problems that at this time there is not solution. Ms Bachman was all hair and lips. Mr Paul was the look of increulity, Mr Perry the same old far off stare, Mr Santorum still has a father who was an immigrant, Mr Gingrich still quick, Mr Huntsman still diplomatic and the other candidate Mr Romney still has not voiced any plan for the immigrant issue other than trying to find a way to entice intellectual immigrants to America. Mr Cain has lost his standing and was simply treading water, preaching instead of speaking with the people.
 
Paul, Huntsman and Gingrich still appear to be the intellectual energy the rest are just hot air.
 
 
 
   
 
   
 
   

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The CBS South Carolina Republican Presidential Debate Commander in Chief Debate National Journal

 
 
Why is America, the American People being eliminated from the Presidential election process. Why did CBS cut the coverage and opt to continue the debate for a select audience of high speed internet users in the USA.
 
Why is the news media in America choosing to dumb down the voters. Without information to make an  educated choice for commander in chief, the wrong person will be chosen and we shall have to live with the consequences. All of us, including the news media.
 
Much was discussed tonight on broadcast tv. Minute bites of the candidates plans for the country, our security and safety. Although the questions were thoughtful they were longer than the time for the answers, giving us much fodder  to ponder and little time to hear what these people have to say.
 
Mr Perry redeemed himself, with grace, dancing over the blanks of the last debate and bragging about his past ten years of leadership.
Ms Bachman changed her hairdo so we were able to see her face, too bad she did not wear a suit that would have her on par with the men, she chose to look like a woman instead of an executive. Brooks Brothers makes suits for women. Parading her sex is a mistake.
Mr Gingrich was his curt self.
Mr Paul shared his knowledge.
Mr Santorum reminded us that no one in the Bush Administration or the Obama Administration listened to him about national security. Why could he not get his point across.
Mr Huntsman did not get much time to speak but did get to say that China's young people who are connected in cyberspace will create the revolution in China changing the communist state, and that what America needs to lead in the 21st century is economics and education.
 
The big story is Pakistan, harboring terrorists and having nuclear capabilities and how do we maintain a working relationship with Pakistan while thwarting the faction in Pakistan that leans away from having a working relationship with the USA. And the triangle of Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan as the forces to sway because Iran is working towards nuclear capabalities.
 
There were of course the sound bites bashing Obama and the job his administration is not and has not done to support change in Afghanistan.
 
Mr Santorum gave the worst answer when he said he would if elected, surround himself with individuals who thought the way he thought and shared his point of view. He should have said that he would surround himself with all the people who would give him the best information needed to make the best choice for the country, looking at all sides to the issues.
 
The candidates are getting stronger and more informed, they are becoming seasoned and more willing to share their points of view. Too bad more people do not have the opportunity to interview them, that is, more American voters should have the opportunity to view the candidates and their performance before the nation and the world. So that they in fact, will have the tools to make the right choice for our leader. Mr Obama may in fact be the person to lead the nation for the next four years but we have the right to choose, and without the information we have no choice, and the country will be deminished. It is time for education and information for the American voters  to choose the course for the nation. We will have to live through this together, and we, the more we know, the more we can prepare for the future. An educated American is our best American.
 

Friday, November 11, 2011

Dear Me, 11.11.11

    Today is Veterans Day in the USA. It is the day that the banks are closed and no mail is delivered. Kids are home from school and events are planned to honor all who have served us in war and military service. It is a day when we reflect upon our freedom and the price paid by many to ensure our safety.
    It is a quiet sombre day to mourn the fallen, those who have paid the ultimate price, the most expensive fare for freedom, the battles horrible, the land, strange to our battalions, men and women, soldiers, walking into danger, wishing they were elsewhere, alone, in the place where they have no longer any childhood, no longer any innocent laughter, alone, family the distant last letter in their pocket closest to their heart where they hope they can feel the radiant warmth of the hearth at home surrounded by the family. The piece of paper that gives them hope, courage and fortitude. The slip of paper that was touched by the hand of a loved one touching and close to their heart, keeping them safe, keeping them warm. They are in a place wearing the same boots, day in and day out, they never taken them off, never given a chance to breathe, their clothing, stiff with dirt debris and sweat of the days of battle the nights of no sleep, the times of rain, the same clothing between their backs resting against the mud wall, cold wet and distant from a place of comfort, home. Young healthy people, chosen in the best of health, chosen with the best of choices to withstand the rigors of the unknown the unending seconds that never change the tick of the monotony of the changeless tedium of conflict.

 The young bank clerk called to duty, the fun loving guy with the sense of humor that  brought wit to work with him every day, the young clerk who now resides on the wall in Washington D.C.  still far from home, far Brooklyn New York. And the uncle who survived the prisoner of war camp after the battle of the Bulge, the gentleman seated always next to his brother in law, the soldier who found him at the camp, emaciated, filth encrusted. The brother in law awarded the Silver Star, because he dressed  like a peasant to lead other soldiers and sheep through a mine field in Italy, to battle the Germans for a farm house up the hill. Regular guys who sat at the family table during those days of celebration, laughing and joking, full of life. Or the sailor who told stories of freezing every day in the crows nest on lookout in the North Atlantic near the Artic Circle, looking for submarines of the enemy, hoping to site them before being sited, eyelashes frozen, breath frozen.
    Veterans Day, 11.11.11, at home warm safe with memories of past wars, past veterans, peering into The New Age of Malice with the unseen enemy lurking in the shadows disguised as a neighbor, ready to blow up everything  in the name of the new cause, the new enemy, the new evil. There is no longer a map of the territory in dispute, it is everywhere, everywhere they want it to be, against everyone in their way, everyone who disagrees. And they no longer win the land, the territory, the bounty, the assets, the property, nothing tangible in their hands, no bands play, no salutes, no medals, no place of honor on a wall, no bronze statute to remind us of the battle they fought, the day they won, the day they lost. The unnamed hero fighting the enemy in one battle, only one assault, only one place, never to have another day to give, to sacrifice, to live through, only one shot, only one chance to make a mark during The New Age of Malice, the little boy who will never grow old after the conflict, the little boy whose battle is the one, the only one for him, his only time to be proud, his only time to be strong, his only time to be a hero.
    Is it a better war, not to have survivors, no lingering victims no damaged heroes for society to tend, no dependents to remind us of the price paid, no offspring who dream of wars they have never fought as though they were there, no offspring to fear what is around the corner they have never turned, no persons missing arms or legs or other parts the rest of us have. No turf to claim until the total end of the game when there are few left, few to remember, few to begin again till the next new absolute assault on morality, the code of man, living side by side with man, and woman and child.
   Veterans Day, a time to remember what was and what will be, the cost of war,  the price we all pay. Throw the wreath upon the water and watch it roll on the waves of time, washing away our memories, washing away our pains, washing away our days, cleaning the slate for the chalk of life of another day.
                                                                                                                love,
                                                                                                                    me

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The CNBC Republican Debate

 
Jobs
Manufacturing Jobs
Banks too Big to Fail
Audit the Federal Reserve
Tax Reform
The National Debt
Student Loasn Debt
Greece
Italy
China
Housing
Medicaid
Social Security
Healthcare
 
Everything you have been worrying about, they talked about last night.
 
CNBC did get a boo from the audience when they asked Romney if he would hire someone(Cain) who had a cloud of a sex scandal. Romney refused to take the bait.
 
CNBC moderators seemed on the assault as opposed to impartial. The candidates were up for the game and threw back every ball, letting CNBC seem immature.
 
Mr Perry did loose concentration or he had a senior moment or there is something going on with him that needs medical attention. But he seemed to be accustomed to losing words and handled the incident with grace. Still, one wonders who put him up to running, and what did they offer him. I hope it was a lot.
 
Mr Cain has lost some lustre, not because of the sex cloud but because he was not prepared for some of the questions and used his 999 to cover his tracks. Everyone in America has a opinion about most of the issues and can answer some or all of the questions with a possible solutions.
 
Ms Bachman is falling back on her accounting background and seems somewhat stuck in the books., There is a big world out there and like Mr Cain she seems to have not thought about a lot of the things that affect the nation.
 
who is left
 
Mr Santorum is focused on the middle class and natural gas. He should have broadened his coments to include the rest of the world.
 
then there is
 
Mr Romney, who got most of the attention from the commentators. He is apart from the rest of the crowd in that he appears to be very smooth, expensive and segregated. He has money, and looks like he never sweats, or that everything is easy. A businessman, a ceo, a boss and a guy distant from the rest of us. He appears to be someone you could not talk to, someone who does not want to hear someone elses opinion. One of the guys who knows something and is not very ready and willing to share it with the rest of us.
 
on the other hand
 
Mr Paul wants desperately for all of us to hear what he has to say because he believes we are misinformed and uneducated. The kind of father trying to teach his child, desperately trying to find the right language because the lesson is vital and must be learned and is better taught by a member of the family than being hit in the face by the real world.
 
Mr Gingrich has a plan for the brain. He wants America to focus medical research on the brain, because of Alzheimers, old age and all the ailments that affect humanity when triggered by the brain. A very focused goal to reduce medical costs due to the effects of brain damage and disease. Like Mr Paul, Mr Gingrich seems to be paying attention to the needs of the nation. Whomever is elected, both these men have something to bring to the table and should be included in the next administration. They both seem to be paying attention to the job to be done, whether or not they grab the brass ring of president of the USA.
 
Mr Huntsman, if you had the opportunity to hear him, reminds us that China is closely linked with out health and well being and that a statesman diplomat must be available to protect our interests before it is too late. If you think about China, If you think about all the money we owe China, and if you think about all the products we buy from China, besides China's buildup of military might then Mr Huntsman is the man that must represent the USA with all dealings with China. He did say that what ever threats we threw at China like tariffs  would be answered by China, and that needed diplomacy as opposed to arrogance or threats. Watching Mr Huntsman's poise made one realize that the USA is quite small compared to China. Every other issue facing the nation seemed very insignificant to China and our relations with China.
 
    It was a very large debate. Chock full of concern with the real issues facing the nation. A very serious time. All the candidates exuded concern for the nation and the future of the nation. Mr Cain wants to be president, Mr Perry does not, neither does Mr Paul nor Ms Bachman, Mr Romney wants the feather in his cap. Both Mr Cain and Mr Romney seem to have their own best interests at heart, that is they seem to want to have the top job, like the kids who always were fighting to grab the seat in musical chairs. While Mr Paul, Mr Gingrich and Mr Huntsman seem to be statesmen.
 
Misters Huntsman, Gingrich and Paul seem to be the most educated about the needs of the nation and the three of them together should be able to convince the rest of the electorate to do the best for the nation.
 
Rich people do not know what it is like not to have money. And we have to choose among the rich, who, we think, will act on our behalf and now WE must make the choice of not who we like but who can get the job done. Because we in the USA and the rest of the world are in a lot of trouble and we need someone who can get us out of trouble, and make the very difficult decisions that will affect us all. America is still in the position to lead, and we should choose a leader to lead us out of the difficult dilema. We can not afford to choose the pretty, the witty or the kind, we need the strong leader, and it can not be just the one person who will be president. We need the person who will surround himself with the thinking minds that will recommend the thoughtful choices and not the quick fixes. It will be a long winter, maybe ten years long, and we need the fuel to get us through. Please choose wisely, don't just pick for the sake of picking. Become informed and then you will do your best to choose the best leader. Whatever you do, do not make the choice you will regret. This election is so important it comes down to NO REGRET. Be sure you do not regret your choice, because we will have to live with your choice.
 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

DOES ANYBODY KNOW

    TOSCANINNI had it
his music filled every sense and then some
he gave all his energy
and received all from all
his musicians 
his listeners
he filled the air
with life
he never withheld a miniscule
his wand waving
tell all
feel
do not close your ears
do not close your heart
hear
this is the way it should be played
this is the way it should be heard
this is the way it should be
and this is the way it is
PICASSO had it
simplicity in the line
one line
one movement
alive
evoking
touching
telling
you feel with your eyes
what you see reaches
the innermost point
the place hidden
the place
the ephemeral
the lasting
the visceral
blink
and it moves
blink
and you are there
blink
and he knows you
he knows what you feel
what you are
and he tells
in no uncertain terms
what we
could not verbalized
he
in the one motion
one line
a simple flick of the wrist
it is all there
the real
the imagined
the dreamed
the thought
the wish
the truth
EINSTEIN had it
the man of numbers
with the sense of humor
afraid not of looking foolish
the numbers king
maping the universe
guides are still travelling
unravelling
traversing
trying reversing
numbers
the finite
the infinite
formula
algorithm
layers
strings
the meaning of all things
relative
related
we did not speak his language
not most of us
scientists told us
of his brilliance
of his accuracy
of his history
the mapping of the universe
as we do not know it
but as it is
as he says it is
an as his last gift to us
as he lingered to life
he left us notes
to play
at our liesure
to hear what he had to say
when someone
finally
can speak his language
to tell us what he had to say

Saturday, November 5, 2011

HE SAID, SHE SAID

Did you do it?
I did it but I don't remember doing it.

Where is it?
Nothing is ever where I put it.

Will you answer me?
I did.
No you did not.
I did, I told you...

I put everything away.
I know you told me already.

We saw this movie.
I don't remember, let's watch some until I remember.

Did you fix it?
I didn't know it was broken.
I told you.
No you didn't.
Yes I did, when we were sitting in the kitchen looking at the mail.
Well,  if you did I don't remember.

What's for dinner?
I don't know.
When will you know?
When I get up and look and see what I can figure out.
 I could go for....
We don't have any.
We'll have...
We had that yesterday, I don't want the same thing again.
How about salad?
No, I don't want salad.
How about tuna?
No, I don't want that.
Then you have to eat what we ate yesterday.
I'm in the mood for....
You should have thought of that when you were doing the shopping.


We need to buy one or two new tires for the mower.

Why?
Because the whole that was there got bigger, I plugged it and put in some of the liquid to fix flats and mowed around for awhile but the tire went flat again.

I can't use the machine?
You can, if you fill the tire with air and ride around for a little while and then fill the tire with air again.

Then I guess we should get a new tire.

Shoul we order one or two?
I don't know.

The machine is six years old and those are the same tires that came with the machine
Well, I guess we should get two new tires.

What took you so long to start the machine?
It needed a new sparkplug, the hopper was clogged and the tire was flat. I put in a new spark plug. I couldn't find the stuff to plug the hole, then I  couldn't find the tool used to put the plug in. Went back to the house and checked the tool box and couldn't find it. Tried to plug it with a screw driver. When  that didn't work I drove back to the house and looked again in the work room and found it, then I plugged the tire and put in some of that stuff to fix flats an filled the tire with air. It worked for a while, then I noticed it was almost flat again.

Are you going to work outside some more today?
I don't know.
What is there to do?
Look and see if I can fix the other machine.
What are you going to do, it won't start?
The book says to check the air filter, the spark plug, the oil, and to check the throttle travel, whatever that is. We'll see how I feel after lunch.

What color are my eyes?
That depends on whether or not you are drinking.
What did you have to bring that up for?
For information. When you are not drinking your eyes are blue. When you are drinking they are like a grey.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Are You Dying

Yes, I am dying
As soon as I am born
I embark on the path
to death
 
Living all the while
dying all the while
 
grasping every moment
 
silly
no
silly
yes
 
dying
yes
dead
no, not yet
 
just dying
 
alive
of course
 
looking into the window
watching
acting
grasping
having
being
seeing
 
judging!
 
How have I fared
compared to what
 
compared to Hillary Clinton, Mother Terese,
Princess Di, the man in the moon
 
or simply the person sitting next to me
I have lasted all this time
that is an accomplishment
yes, that is what counts
does it
of course
you are not dead
 
but, what have I done
a little of this a little of that
nothing earth shattering
no trip to the moon
yet, not too many broken hearts
or damaged egos
no
not too many
yet, some
 
some mistakes
yes
here and there
some dumb faux pas
some others too
 
yet
some people like me
yet
some others do too
 
Some sadness along the way
some pain
and laughter, oh don't forget the laughter
some really funny things
some a little dangereous
like the time....
 
working in the bank, and Mary was mad at her cousin from Ireland who came to America on a holiday visa, and was living with she and her family and abusing the priviledge by getting a construction job, taking away the job from some American at a time when jobs were in short supply. So we, a bunch of us, sat together thinking what to do and we got Anna to bring in her Immigration papers for us to look at. And we wrote up a letter to her cousin, from the US Dept of Immigration and Naturalization in Washington DC telling him, that he must present himself at the nearest Immigration Office with a list of papers, birth, visa, pasport and a bunch of other papers.
 
It was reported to us by Mary, that his cousin went to the local immigration office, there, the immigration people made a fuss about his getting a letter from Washington and they wanted to deport him right away.
 
When at home, he, her cousin said that it was the Irish Mafia in Massassechutes that was after him. And Mary's mother said to him, "See you can't fool the US Government".
 
For weeks after we sent the letter, all of us in on the plan were looking over our shoulders, expecting to see G men coming after us, even though we put a stamp on the letter after we had rationalized that putting a stamp on the letter made it look like we were not really trying to impersonate the US government.
 
That, I thought was dangereous and was surprised about my complicity, especially writing the letter was my idea.
Maybe that reverts back to the days when I ratted out J & R in elementary school, my moral outrage.
 
Speaking of moral outrage
what value has it
what is morally valid
 
Like Albert's theory
It depends where you are standing
 
Fair Play
We all would like the playing field equal
watching any football game we know, the field is not
 
Like football, every player has different rules
 
well
what kind of a  player are you
 
I use to think I was important
When I was a banker, I took the job seriously
and was personally responsible
for all the people whose money I was responsible for
 
Working in the pension department I kept thinking of all the present and future
pensioners whose money I handled
 
The accounts covered every industry, paper, plastic aluminum, printing ....
I fantasized, for every pensioner there was a spouse and at least two children
And I worried about all of them
I did my very best all the time
to protect their investment of time, translated into money
 
I did my best not to be responsible for any harm coming to any of them
 
then, one of my bosses was caught stealing
and, I had guilt by association
that I should have known and probably did know what he was doing,
is what everyone said
 
Marched up to the big shots offices in the tower, and sat down before
the corporations lawyer and the big boss, I felt guilty, even though
I did not comprimise any of the accounts money, at least not knowingly.
 
Tainted goods.
On all sides, any way they looked at it.
There was no way to free myself from the yolk of suspision.
 
"All you have is your good name", or so they say.
And mine was tarnished by rubbing up against life.
And all the other things I got credit for,
whether I did them or not.
 
I was always the one in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Or is it the right place at the wrong time.
It doesn't matter, where ever I was, I was in trouble.
 
In elementary school, in high school, even college, it was never perfect,
it was never beautiful. I was never fortunate.
 
I plodded along with cardboard in my shoes to cover the holes in the soles.
Sounds like an analogy.
You're covered, but you're not.
 
I was smart, but not educated.
My smartness got me from nowhere to somewhere
and circumstances brought me back to reality.
 
So I left the bank, because I was disillusioned
the bubble was burst
they were just human
and they
made mistakes
and it cost me dearly.
I now had to face the real world.
 
 Living on Park Avenue, like living anywhere else, is no free lunch.
there are always hidden costs
and surprise!
we all get to pay it.
 
Just do your best not to get too beat up.
Or, if you do get into a fight
make sure it is worth fighting for
 
but how do you know, if something is worth fighting for
we have always been told to do the right thing
how do we know what the right thing is, at the time
 
You know hindsight is always 20 x 20
but at the time, all you can do is guess
because the product(the scene you are playing) is not played out yet
so you have to guess  what is right and what is wrong
 
the old "trust your feelings"
when forced to make a decision, about whatever will affect you
 
your best guess
because
just crossing the street can change your life and your world
for better or for worse
 
and remember
there is only one rule,
sometimes always never.
If you apply that variable
at least you won't be surprised with the outcome,
except if you are.
 
Are you still there?
Yes
I am still alive,
I am still dying.
travelling through time, back and forth
the past and the present
weighing.
 
Weighing what
the measure of my life
the good the bad and the ugly
the things that have happened quickly
before I could catch them
before I could make other choices
the things that have happened so quickly or
while I was so young so ignorant so stupid
 
what do you mean
 
One time when I ran away from home
the place that was so awful
I got lucky? and my friend Ernie's mom
offered me her home
living there was cool
they had some money and I was not accustomed
to the comforts
Even though I had a job in a dentists office
she asked me for no money
I felt like the cowering dog in a safe place
UNTIL
one day at work
Ernie's father called me up and
wanted to make a date with me.
I thought that was disgusting.
But I felt threatened.
Ernie's family were planning to go to the lake
for the summer and I would be at home alone
with Ernie's father.
 
I solved the problem by hurting myself.
I wrote letters to everyone in the family, little
formal notes thanking them for all the kindness
they had shown me.
Except for Ernie's father, his note I made provocative,
knowing that Ernie's mother would open it.
 
The letter caused quite a stir. Ernie's mother
was very agitated and threw me out that very day.
 
I cried with my tail between my legs all the way home.
I cried because of the husband Ernie's mother had,
I wanted her life to be perfect. She had been so kind
to me, the kindness I had not felt before.
 
I cried because I was forced back to the home of strife.
 
Oh so many stories in my life, of pain.
Pain hurts the most.
No, pain you feel the most, it cuts the deepest.
It scars your life with the sharpest cuts, the deepest wounds,
the ugliest deformations, the wretched apprehension fear.
 
Yes, I am still dying
I am as yet not dead.
They didn't kill me, as best as they tried.
 
The passion is still there.
What passion.
The passion to live every moment, to drive my self
through my life, going where I want to go, doing what I want to do,
pleasing myself.
What do you mean.
 
Being old gives me some advantage.
I want to live my life doing those things that make me happy.
There is not much else that is important.
If I care for my family, that makes me happy, why, because if
they are happy, they will not cause me any aggrivation and thus
I am without strife, that is happy.
 
If my family is happy, then I can devote myself to making myself
happy. It is the take care of yourself first rule. Whatever it takes to
take care of yourself.
 
Reverse psychology. Simple.
Keep your eyes open.
Observe.
See what is going on.
Don't walk with blinders.
Notice your environment.
 
You are always being watched.
Protect yourself.
There is always someone watching.
If you assume you are always being watched, then, you have
a better chance of not doing anything that would put you in a
comprimising position.
 
The old "cover your a--" mentality. Do your best to protect
yourself, mentally physically and emotionally, this way there
is no guilt. You won't feel guilty when all goes awry, because you
did your best.
 
If you do your best all the time, you get in the habit of doing
your best even though it is not always good enough.
 
You can at least feel good about yourself, because you
are the only one you HAVE to live with.