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Friday, February 11, 2011


The dentist is someone who cares for the well being of your teeth, repairing a tooth, aligning a bite, fixing a screaming nerve and otherwise generally investigating the health of gums.

These people are in fact persons whom we pay to put their fingers in our mouths.

I personally hate to have someone put their fingers in my mouth, the people who have me stretch the muscles in my jaw till they reach China.

I would rather use an electric toothbrush with awful tasting toothpaste, the stuff that ruins the taste of food, rather than have someone stick their fingers in my mouth.

That includes the instruments they pile in there too, it's like stuffing a trunk and then they wad cotton to make sure nothing rattles around.

Floss is even better than drills, the  sound of fingers scraping on a black board(here is a hint at my age), the shrill that rattles the nerves as they stick their fingers and instruments in my mouth.

Then as I drool like a baby with everything hanging and the muscles going rigid the vacuum cleaner sucks every drop of moisture. It all feels as though the teeth are standing alone, the gums have shrunk and the teeth have grown and the muscles in the mouth and neck are numb, as the eyes are dragged down past the cheeks almost touching the upper lip.

And just as you are on the verge of slipping into twilight sleep you are slapped into reality  when they say 'All done' and expected to to be able to close your mouth swallow rinse spit and say everything is fine and get up and pay them for their fingers playing in your mouth.

Even Listerine is the better alternative.

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