the Present

              yesterday in the fabric store there was a woman in the sale section hurriedly glancing

at all the fabrics

             later as I was at the counter getting the fabrics I chose, cut to size

this woman, with her hands arms filled with bolts of fabric walked past me

and my partner said

she had just walked out the door with the bolts of fabric.

            The sales person didn't even know there was another customer in the store.

So this lady just walked out with hundreds of dollars worth of fabric

and I am feeling guilty, like I am her accomplice, it is difficult to shake off the event,

even though it happens hundreds of times a day across the country.

It is easy to think she needed to clothe her family.
It is easy to think she needed to clothe herself.
It is easy to think the store had hundreds of bolts of fabric, they wouldn't miss it.
It is easy to think, maybe if I were in here circumstances I would do the same.

Take what is not yours
Take what belongs to someone else
Take what you want
Take it because you want it
Take it because you need it
Take it because they have plenty

It is easy to think
all sides of the story
making up the scenario you  choose

Best case scenario, she has ten children and her husband has been laid off from his job. He's doing little odd jobs to put a little food on the table. They live in a tiny trailer and chop wood to heat the place. All the children sleep huddled together on the floor. They can't afford beds. They sleep in their clothing, there are not enough blankets to go around.

Scenario two, she works for an alarm company which wants to prove to the fabric store the need for security.

Scenario three, she feels cheated for the last batch of fabric she bought at the store.

Scenario four, she was bet that she could not go to the store and walk out with bolts of fabric.

Scenario five, she feels entitled to everything the world has to offer and feels whatever money she has is hers to keep forever.

Scenario six, she has been taught by her parents to steal and doesn't know the value of honesty.

A woman I knew had two children to raise after her husband had died. He left her the little house they lived in that had a small rental apartment above their living quarters and a three car detached garage that she also rented out for income. When ever possible she bought stole property either to resale or for her and her families use, especially clothing. Years later when the children were older, married and moved out, she had a generous gentle friend who bestowed upon her lavish gifts. One day her home was robbed and she was enraged at the thought that someone had broken into her  home and stolen some of her things.

There is no moral to this story.
It is simply a matter of what you can live with.
Are you satisfied with what you earn or must you take what is not yours.

Being fair is not what life is about, and can you afford to be fair.

When is satisfaction,
what creates the circumstances of satisfaction,
and when is satisfaction enough.

Want, want want
why do we want
and what good is it when we get what we want
we then always want something else

and if we accept the state of, not wanting
what does that make us

everybody wants
if we for one day want nothing can we change the way things are

if a starving person doesn't want to eat then perhaps the starving person won't have to steal to eat
absurd
we must eat to survive
and to survive is our nature
thus we do everything
we THINK we need to survive
"I'll die if I don't get that"

thinking and how we think is crucial
if we think we must have something
then we must do whatever is necessary to achieve that goal

what do the terrorist want?
whatever we have
why are the creating all this terror?
because they want to

and we are buying into the fear
we are allowing ourselves not to think
we are fearing shadows
we are fearing ourselves out of living
we are afraid to cross the street
we are afraid to look someone in the eye
we are so afraid
we are afraid to live our lives
we have cameras at every corner
we have cameras at the airports
we have satellites invading, watching
there is always someone watching
and yet we are afraid

savages exist
I have known some
animals who have never been treated as humans
who never treat anyone as human
abused individuals who know no kindness
and therefore cannot be kind

"we reap what we sow"
sometimes, always , never
sometimes luck fits in with the game
sometime bad luck

choose how you wish to live
and live how you choose
opportunity lost and a lifetime of regret is the
real hell

a lifetime of regrets is a lifetime living in the past
looking at the choices not made, and making up
stories about how their life would have change if only
they had made the other choice.

the only one who can steal your life is yourself
don't cheat yourself out of a life worth living
it's the only one you got
"life is a gift every day, that is why they call it the
present"